FUCK

SORRY, trying to clear my comments inbox and I deleted all the comments in my blog... AGAIN.
PISSED FUCKING PISSED.
Anyway to retrieve it? OR NEVER DO THAT FUCKING AGAIN.

FUCKING FUCK THAT NOISE WONT STOP
STOP BANGING SHIT AROUND UP THERE


Agent Wraith, sorry about that. If you read this I'm doing good.. as good as I can on 10 hours of sleep in 3 or 4 days and agitated beyond belief.. Hope all is well on your end though. Glad to see you still got your blog up :)

Time for a smoke. I am hating all of this right now. TV won't even work, the picture keeps cutting out and glitching up... EVEN THOUGH IT'S FUCKING CABLE. I'd understand if there was bad weather outside, or if I had Satilite but no. It's cable. I can't even get the channels any more, just 3 channels that I have given up on seeing anything of interest on.

... I don't want to go outside..

fucksuckitup

Cancer Time.

4th cup of coffee

And I am wide awake, yet sleepy as fuck. The apartment is overly warm and I can't stop feeling like something is watching me. I can't go outside to smoke without getting scared and running into the living room like a chicken, not to mention that I'm pretty sure there's something walking around upstairs when no one is up there, or at least no one is allowed to be up there, it could be workers since the building is getting some renovations but who would be building a wall at 3:30 in the morning?

Or is it 4? That's what the computer is saying... I can't even keep track of time any more which is a very bad thing. If I stay awake at least I can make it to my first day on the job.

Oh yeah I have a job now, which means I can keep the apartment, I also have internet set up, and the guy didn't notice the free cable I'm getting from my neighbour so I get to keep the free cable too.

Bonus.

Still no sign of her. I call her parents, even tried to call her work. She just stopped showing up apparently. No calls, no nothing just never showed up for work. I couldn't get a hold of her parents so I left a message and I hope someone gets a hold of me. I haven't called my mom, but then again I'm sure she's still not in the mood to talk so...

MAN
it'sfuckinghot

Don't know what else to say... been trying to stay up... don't want to sleep much even though I should I just feel uneasy about it...been drawing alot to occupy the time but I don't have a scanner to upload any of them... and my camera has suddenly disappeared into think air, not that it much matters the fucking thing dies in 10 minutes on a GOOD day. Tried to get a hold of Pickles so he could help me out with that but he's been oddly quiet even for a shut in. I've only heard from him once since last week and that conversation was possibly the shortest we've ever had. Just a "Take some sleep pills and have a drink, talk to you soon I have work."

Click

Gone

Whoo, it's awesome having so many friends to talk to when your all kinds of fucked up huh?

That moment

You ever have that feeling. That you'd been sleeping for so long that you wake up and realize half your day was gone?
What about a whole day, or a week?

Or a month?

Or a few?

And you wake up and BAM. Everything was just... odd. You didn't know what to do, you could talk right see right, and you probably couldn't move much. Like waking up from a deep sleep.

I had a sleeping problem. But I never new it was this bad.

Haven't heard from me in a while huh? Thought I must have just fucked off. Ha well..

I tried to, and really things didn't got he way I wanted anyway. Beside's all the aligations that I was on drugs, stalking deer in the night or some other bull shit I had a falling out with my mother.
She so blind sometimes. So childish, she can't even see it when it's right there.

Almost pokeing her in the face...

I left, like I always did, because it keep sme safe and happy and everyone else safe and happy...

Thats what I thought. Like didn't want to be that nice to me. I packed up and went off with my friend. We wanted to go to the city, I thought yeah. I can always get lost in a city. I can always just walk down a street I didn't know and just go away for awhile, and no one could find me, or bother me.


That's.. most of what I remembered. There's a small haze that I can't yet figure out if it's a dream... or real. I can't find her. She won't pick up her phone. Her emails... not even her facebook which I HATE (anyone else get loading problems on that site??) I'm here in the apartment alone. Rent hasn't been paid, for like a whole month, so all of my money is gone now. I had enough change left to barely buy some smokes to last a few days if I pace myself...
If I'm lucky.

So there's like... a month that's gone by with me knowing absolutely nothing. Not even adding on everything else. Also luckly for 24 hour internet cafe's that I can pay for with street change. Still...

What happened.. how could I have slept for so long with out even remembering waking up and even feeding myself, or going to the bathroom, or fucking SMOKING.

All my smokes are gone. The packs are there but all gone. So unless she smoked them all I must have been awake at some point.

All I remember is black. A still, cold, lifeless black void.Not like.. I didn't dream. I remember a feeling. A bad feeling. That rip your gut out and still feel it kinda feeling...

what happened to me?

Soon

just..
soon

Easy feeling

It's strange to feel this way.

Have you ever had one of those nights where you just say

"Fuck you everyone, it's 8:32 pm, I don't have work until late and I have nothing to do right now I'm going to bed."

And you have one of the best sleeps of your LIFE.

Yeah, it was nice.

Last night was that night for me, which was nice. I mean, it was either I didn't sleep at all for days on end, spent in paranoia and restlessness. Or I was sleeping all the time, and having black outs and could barely move a muscle.

It's nice. Very nice. The past few nights have been absolutely peaceful and calm. I even have some fun while I'm at work (God forbid, I didn't even know I could..)

An old friend even moved back into town yesterday. She was one of my best friends when I was kid and still here. And now I can finally spend some time with someone my age who I can get along with and enjoy a night outside of my apartment for once.

WHICH IS WICKED UUUHHHHH!!!!

Sorry, it's been awhile since I've been so at peace for once.

But, it's been getting me thinking.

That's how it always feels, the calm before the storm...

I can't help but feel like soon I'll be thrown into some kind of tornado of absolute hell and I won't even know what to do with it all.

And after ready everything that's been going on and how similar it all is...

God what do I even do..

Well, all I can do is hope it stays this way right?

~++HART

Cold morning

I haven't slept much.

At all.

The only day I slept was yesterday, and that was for a whole 3 hours.

Go me.

I've been hoping and begging to whatever entity is out there to cause a snow storm and not have me work the double shift I have today because I just don't have the energy or the want to do it.

At all.

And I don't even know why I can't sleep. I mean, I'm tired.

But everytime I close my eyes my body just smacks me in the face and goes

"No, no FUCK YOU, stay awake and burn all my energy damn you."

Oh GOD whats wrong with me.

I'm almost hoping I collapse at work and that's that.

Don't have to work.

Or there is an explosion, or some kind of...

somesortof

a

like

maybe a cat mob or something

ahhhhhh

SLEEEEEEEP

Just some time

So I've done some digging.

A lot of digging. People have been disappearing all over the island.

 Not tons of people, and not a lot, but people are still disappearing.  And it seems like most of the cases have been a lot like what happened to me. Just up and gone from their home or work, all of their stuff is still left behind, cars, wallets, keys, nothing is gone.

Most of the people who have disappeared are around my age too.

So far there's been 5 missing people reports, and when I was asking Officer Robert (The officer I was talking to last time, I finally remembered his name) why he didn't tell me about it he said he was hoping I wouldn't have been the same kind of case because I was found the day after with nothing wrong.

But he did tell me he got a weird feeling about the whole thing, and he didn't want me digging any further into it. If anyone was going to solve this it would be the police.

But...

I don't think I can just let this go.

It's all just too weird. The strange occurrences is just something I can't ignore.

The moment I moved back here, the disappearances began, and from the articles I read about the disappearances they have found those strange pieces of paper similar to what I found in my room.

If I can find some way to look at those  papers and compare them to mine I might be able to figure something out maybe..

I really don't know how I'd look at them. My guess is they're evidence now...

Ah, maybe I should just let the cops deal with it.

As strange as this may be for me there's nothing I could do that they already haven't I guess.

I need to lay down. I have a terrible headache, and mother seems to think I have a cold. Tea time.

Damn I want this to just make sense, it's bugging me too much.

I'm dreaming about it, I've bee seeing things.

I know it's just my head paying tricks on me.

But it's sort of hard to work when your running on 4 hours sleep.

Not fun.

ahh..

fuck

++~HART