mouseandweasel GAME

boredboredboredbored

so bored so VERY BORED BORED BORED

I think I should go to bed soon, but I don't think I could pull myself to do it either.

My eyes burn, then those noises.

I am a paranoid case.

a BIG one

I tend to have a security measure I go through when I'm paranoid and having any off feelings.

o1. LOCK ALL DOORS

o2. TURN ON ALL LIGHTS

o3. MAKE SURE I HAVE BACKGROUND NOISE

Well, I need background noise regardless, I almost can't function in the silence if I don't have something making some kind of sound.

butthentheresthetimesicantmakeoutwhatthesoundsare

That's what makes me paranoid.

The nothing out there, looming over as your own regret.

I always thought if you but out enough negative energy, especailly self-loathing there could almost be a manifestation of that regret in a way.

A way that it can hurt you in some way.

forme

taps.

tiktaptiktaptiktiktiktaptaptiktiktik

it's all i hear in the silence

Maybe I should get some sleep

++~HART

SMOKEDHARDCHIP

 

 

AND THEN HE BECAME KING OF ALL.

I have some fuel now.

Tasty, glorious fuel.

But I still can't stop drawing.

At least it's getting entertaining, for me.

I should not have lonely Sunday's anymore.

♥

++~HART

BOMBBANG

♥♥

I am oddly enough creative when on exactly 7 cups of coffee and 4 hours sleep.

Too bad nothing is coming out the way I want it too...

I need to doodle my way out of the block somehow.

I am also posting on this blog a lot more than I thought I was going to do today.

Shows you how boring this Sunday is.

I welcome it actually.
++~HART

XXX

smooch

SMOKINGSMOKINGSMOKING

I just finished my smoke, but I want another one.

That makes me a chain smoker right?

Lately I've been feeling like a chain smoker. Any stress, quiet moment or when drawing it's like I need one.

Yeah, that makes me a chain smoker.

But maybe it's just getting used to a new life.

Or a new chapter? But then again I've been disowning what I was and wanted to be the new person I have been calling myself lately.

Makes it even weirder to be with family again while going through this. Four years, all on my own.

And I got used to it. Four years. That doesn't seem like a long time right? A short period of time to be away from family, most kids like me stay away for years before finally seeing family again. But I'm not a kid anymore, and now I'm back with mother.

She missed me.

It was nice to know, and see it.

Home is weird. Everyone knows you, and when you've been gone for so long everyone piles up to say hi, welcome you and shake your hand like your a celebrity.

It made me think it's like they think you've survived, survived out there when they didn't have the will or strength to do it themselves.

But you don't survive out there.

You waste away in a box, and then you move around outside your box, but never far from your box, and then back in your box.

I hate that box. But really I moved from box to another box.

A box that makes me uneasy, yet settled at the same time. A true paradox.

Maybe the universe will implode after I post this, because I brought that paradox to life.

Shit, what have I started.

Oh well, I'll just get another coffee and eat more of my Holidaymas chocolate.

Then blow up the world. Coffee comes first though.

++-HART