I have work in six hours. What did I decide to do?
Have one of those nights where I can't sleep.
AGAIN.
I don't even know what does it anymore. I could be slowly drifting into sleep and a car will honk outside.
THATS IT. FUCKED FOR THE NIGHT.
Man this is driving me up the wall. But I just... don't want to sleep.
I mean I WANT TO. But something in me is saying I shouldn't. The call I got earlier today has been running through my head all night.
Been trying to draw, or write to get it off my mind, but it doesn't work. Just bored, sitting here slowly driving myself into a small box of insanity. I'm sitting here talking to myself just to have something to do, to have some kind of human contact...
I need someone else besides myself to talk to, but I can't... talk to anyone. I don't know anyone here, and really at this point I'm sure I'd just scare people away. At least that just seems like whats going on recently.
More coffee is needed.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
PUT IT ON REPEAT
Remember the officer that I was talking to back home?
You know the one the one that did up my report when I went missing? Officer Robert?
I just woke up to my cell phone hoping it was work calling me back about my hours, but was delightfully surprised to hear him on the other end.
"Remember those kids that went missing? We found some of them, just out of thin air."
I mean it's not like alot of people around my town went missing, two students from the trade collage and a couple that worked a bit out of town at the museum. The two from the school have come back but the couple are still missing. Apparently the students where found not too far from the waterfalls in town, by the trail. But like me they don't remember anything so the cops are at an end again.
He but me through the regular do you remember anything, has anyone contacted you since this happened blah blah. I told him I can't even remember the last two months too well with all the sleep I had. We spoke for a bit more, he also told me mom and Luc are doing okay...
thatsgood
So if I remember anything I have to call him. Still.
I also got to sleep sometime this morning. I can't remember what time, it was after 6:30 in the morning.
A two hour nap isn't so bad, had a fucked up dream about my ex though. And a hasbrown...
Hungry.
Alright later.
You know the one the one that did up my report when I went missing? Officer Robert?
I just woke up to my cell phone hoping it was work calling me back about my hours, but was delightfully surprised to hear him on the other end.
"Remember those kids that went missing? We found some of them, just out of thin air."
I mean it's not like alot of people around my town went missing, two students from the trade collage and a couple that worked a bit out of town at the museum. The two from the school have come back but the couple are still missing. Apparently the students where found not too far from the waterfalls in town, by the trail. But like me they don't remember anything so the cops are at an end again.
He but me through the regular do you remember anything, has anyone contacted you since this happened blah blah. I told him I can't even remember the last two months too well with all the sleep I had. We spoke for a bit more, he also told me mom and Luc are doing okay...
thatsgood
So if I remember anything I have to call him. Still.
I also got to sleep sometime this morning. I can't remember what time, it was after 6:30 in the morning.
A two hour nap isn't so bad, had a fucked up dream about my ex though. And a hasbrown...
Hungry.
Alright later.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Quick Update
And it really is (Surprising right?)
Just thought I'd announce that I opened another blog, just a place for me to put down short stories I've been poking at for the past week to keep me sane while I was awake. And some stories that I've heard over the years from family, friends and strangers.
Story Scraps
On other updates, still haven't slept yet, drank coffee all day...
Pretty sure I may not sleep again tonight... I'll try to nap but I'm doubtful. Still, for once in the past two weeks it's got this quiet, calm not paranoid and overly edgy feeling.
I like that. Been a long while...
Of course last time I felt something was when I really had to pee in the middle of the night before I went into a God damn coma. I must have been heavy on the sleeping pills is my guess, and was just in a dopey daze of sleepy.
Makes sense for why I wouldn't remember.
Just thought I'd announce that I opened another blog, just a place for me to put down short stories I've been poking at for the past week to keep me sane while I was awake. And some stories that I've heard over the years from family, friends and strangers.
Story Scraps
On other updates, still haven't slept yet, drank coffee all day...
Pretty sure I may not sleep again tonight... I'll try to nap but I'm doubtful. Still, for once in the past two weeks it's got this quiet, calm not paranoid and overly edgy feeling.
I like that. Been a long while...
Of course last time I felt something was when I really had to pee in the middle of the night before I went into a God damn coma. I must have been heavy on the sleeping pills is my guess, and was just in a dopey daze of sleepy.
Makes sense for why I wouldn't remember.
WORKWORKTIREDEYES
I feel ready to drop. First day of work was odd, but that could've just been me being overly tired, which I'm sure it was. Everyone was staring at me oddly so I thought maybe I was dressed weird, make up looked bad, hair a mess? No, everything looked normal. Everyone said I looked normal. Two guys that came in for lunch where nice enough, chatting me up on my first day (one was pretty cute) but still seemed... odd. The conversation was... odd.
Not that the topic was odd, we talked about the terrible rain that came out of nowhere, what desserts they wanted and the usual customer/waitress banter.
But the tone of it all just seemed.. odd.
GOD I HATE THIS.
Can't sleep a wink and I get paranoid, I see stuff, I think things are all going loopy and the world is twisting around me.
Or I sleep for a week at a time and have a total blackout moment for the whole thing and can't even remember going to the bathroom or drinking a glass of water. So what do I do? It's not like I can get on a regular sleeping schedule I've been trying, but nothing works. I can't even take a sleeping pill to do it anymore. I take it and lay in bed for 2 hours sit up and then start tripping BALLS for a few hours.
Then the sun is up and I STILL can't sleep. I just sit in my room all night doodling and talking to myself. Even now I can't even take a nap. MUH FUCKING MUH.
So I have an idea.
Anyone know a few good movies to watch? Something on the suspense/triller style with an actual good story or something. Or a comedy. I love a good laugh, anything to get me out of this rut.
Or an idea to draw? I've been pretty dry of a good drawing idea for a long while now. I mean I may not be able to put up the drawing until I get my hands on a scanner, or some kind of camera/webcam (maybe my camera will magicly appear) but if you have a few good idea's let me know.
If you have any good ideas for keeping my entertained and awake or to put me to sleep let me know.
Promise I won't delete the comments this time.
I'm not even going to TOUCH that delete/remove content button because both of them seem to delete everything on me fluffing dammit.
Not that the topic was odd, we talked about the terrible rain that came out of nowhere, what desserts they wanted and the usual customer/waitress banter.
But the tone of it all just seemed.. odd.
GOD I HATE THIS.
Can't sleep a wink and I get paranoid, I see stuff, I think things are all going loopy and the world is twisting around me.
Or I sleep for a week at a time and have a total blackout moment for the whole thing and can't even remember going to the bathroom or drinking a glass of water. So what do I do? It's not like I can get on a regular sleeping schedule I've been trying, but nothing works. I can't even take a sleeping pill to do it anymore. I take it and lay in bed for 2 hours sit up and then start tripping BALLS for a few hours.
Then the sun is up and I STILL can't sleep. I just sit in my room all night doodling and talking to myself. Even now I can't even take a nap. MUH FUCKING MUH.
So I have an idea.
Anyone know a few good movies to watch? Something on the suspense/triller style with an actual good story or something. Or a comedy. I love a good laugh, anything to get me out of this rut.
Or an idea to draw? I've been pretty dry of a good drawing idea for a long while now. I mean I may not be able to put up the drawing until I get my hands on a scanner, or some kind of camera/webcam (maybe my camera will magicly appear) but if you have a few good idea's let me know.
If you have any good ideas for keeping my entertained and awake or to put me to sleep let me know.
Promise I won't delete the comments this time.
I'm not even going to TOUCH that delete/remove content button because both of them seem to delete everything on me fluffing dammit.
FUCK
SORRY, trying to clear my comments inbox and I deleted all the comments in my blog... AGAIN.
PISSED FUCKING PISSED.
Anyway to retrieve it? OR NEVER DO THAT FUCKING AGAIN.
FUCKING FUCK THAT NOISE WONT STOP
STOP BANGING SHIT AROUND UP THERE
Agent Wraith, sorry about that. If you read this I'm doing good.. as good as I can on 10 hours of sleep in 3 or 4 days and agitated beyond belief.. Hope all is well on your end though. Glad to see you still got your blog up :)
Time for a smoke. I am hating all of this right now. TV won't even work, the picture keeps cutting out and glitching up... EVEN THOUGH IT'S FUCKING CABLE. I'd understand if there was bad weather outside, or if I had Satilite but no. It's cable. I can't even get the channels any more, just 3 channels that I have given up on seeing anything of interest on.
... I don't want to go outside..
fucksuckitup
Cancer Time.
PISSED FUCKING PISSED.
Anyway to retrieve it? OR NEVER DO THAT FUCKING AGAIN.
FUCKING FUCK THAT NOISE WONT STOP
STOP BANGING SHIT AROUND UP THERE
Agent Wraith, sorry about that. If you read this I'm doing good.. as good as I can on 10 hours of sleep in 3 or 4 days and agitated beyond belief.. Hope all is well on your end though. Glad to see you still got your blog up :)
Time for a smoke. I am hating all of this right now. TV won't even work, the picture keeps cutting out and glitching up... EVEN THOUGH IT'S FUCKING CABLE. I'd understand if there was bad weather outside, or if I had Satilite but no. It's cable. I can't even get the channels any more, just 3 channels that I have given up on seeing anything of interest on.
... I don't want to go outside..
fucksuckitup
Cancer Time.
4th cup of coffee
And I am wide awake, yet sleepy as fuck. The apartment is overly warm and I can't stop feeling like something is watching me. I can't go outside to smoke without getting scared and running into the living room like a chicken, not to mention that I'm pretty sure there's something walking around upstairs when no one is up there, or at least no one is allowed to be up there, it could be workers since the building is getting some renovations but who would be building a wall at 3:30 in the morning?
Or is it 4? That's what the computer is saying... I can't even keep track of time any more which is a very bad thing. If I stay awake at least I can make it to my first day on the job.
Oh yeah I have a job now, which means I can keep the apartment, I also have internet set up, and the guy didn't notice the free cable I'm getting from my neighbour so I get to keep the free cable too.
Bonus.
Still no sign of her. I call her parents, even tried to call her work. She just stopped showing up apparently. No calls, no nothing just never showed up for work. I couldn't get a hold of her parents so I left a message and I hope someone gets a hold of me. I haven't called my mom, but then again I'm sure she's still not in the mood to talk so...
MAN
it'sfuckinghot
Don't know what else to say... been trying to stay up... don't want to sleep much even though I should I just feel uneasy about it...been drawing alot to occupy the time but I don't have a scanner to upload any of them... and my camera has suddenly disappeared into think air, not that it much matters the fucking thing dies in 10 minutes on a GOOD day. Tried to get a hold of Pickles so he could help me out with that but he's been oddly quiet even for a shut in. I've only heard from him once since last week and that conversation was possibly the shortest we've ever had. Just a "Take some sleep pills and have a drink, talk to you soon I have work."
Click
Gone
Whoo, it's awesome having so many friends to talk to when your all kinds of fucked up huh?
Or is it 4? That's what the computer is saying... I can't even keep track of time any more which is a very bad thing. If I stay awake at least I can make it to my first day on the job.
Oh yeah I have a job now, which means I can keep the apartment, I also have internet set up, and the guy didn't notice the free cable I'm getting from my neighbour so I get to keep the free cable too.
Bonus.
Still no sign of her. I call her parents, even tried to call her work. She just stopped showing up apparently. No calls, no nothing just never showed up for work. I couldn't get a hold of her parents so I left a message and I hope someone gets a hold of me. I haven't called my mom, but then again I'm sure she's still not in the mood to talk so...
MAN
it'sfuckinghot
Don't know what else to say... been trying to stay up... don't want to sleep much even though I should I just feel uneasy about it...been drawing alot to occupy the time but I don't have a scanner to upload any of them... and my camera has suddenly disappeared into think air, not that it much matters the fucking thing dies in 10 minutes on a GOOD day. Tried to get a hold of Pickles so he could help me out with that but he's been oddly quiet even for a shut in. I've only heard from him once since last week and that conversation was possibly the shortest we've ever had. Just a "Take some sleep pills and have a drink, talk to you soon I have work."
Click
Gone
Whoo, it's awesome having so many friends to talk to when your all kinds of fucked up huh?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)