Awoke to a headache

4 days without sleep, worked two 13 and a half hour shifts two days in a row.
My dogs are barking and I just finished my nap. Anyone up for a foot massage?

Anyway. Started tripping BALLS last night walking home from work. Leaving the building I turned my head while I was grabbing at my lighter from my bag to light a smoke and I see this... white.. shape (????? really I have no CLUE what it was, I just saw something white) move behind the wall.
I went to look because I heard someone talking, and I see a guy standing 15ft away on a cell phone chatting. Couldn't have been him, he was wearing dark colours and he wouldn't have made it that far in such a short amount of time, only took me a second or two. If he ran I'm sure I would have heard an echo or footsteps or something.

So at that point I said fuck this I need a nap and waddled my sore ass home.
Of course I can't just walk home in peace, I have to walk by a trail.. lots of 'em, and trees in the night time is something I don't like. You can't see anything and that's got me paranoid all the time. So here I am walking home, seeing white figures and now hearing shit in the trees. I jogged home, telling myself it was just an animal, probably a coyote since they are big here and was just stalking me out. I got home and locked myself inside, drank coffee and sat in my room. I would have gone to sleep but the party next door had other plans for me too.

Glad I got a good nap in when I got home today, I really needed that. Didn't see shit today just...
A feeling of.. pressure. In my head, on my stomach and on my ribs too. Alot on my ribs, I should check to see if anything is messed up again. Last thing I need is a piece of my rib floating around my body again...

So.. not much else. Other than the insomnia getting worse, nothing much else.

Pretty boring really. Don't know if I like that much or not... most excitement I get now is sleep deprivation trip outs, and thats not exciting just... bad.

Smoke time. Fuck I'm glad I don't work today.

Write it while it's fresh

little mouse little mouse
where do you sleep?
i am looking everywhere
but i don't hear a peep

little mouse little mouse
come outside to play
i have got a treat for you
if you stay with me all day

little mouse little mouse
you know it's time to eat
so pull away your sleepy eyes
and come out from where you sleep

little mouse little mouse
my tummy growls so loud
if you do not come
out
soon
then it will start to howl

LITTLE MOUSE LITTLE MOUSE
WHERE HAVE YOU GONE HAVE YOU GONE?
I AM CATCHING UP TO YOU
IT WON'T BE VERY LONG

littlemouse little mouse
you know you cannot hide
so here i'll wait patiently
you i can always find

Again with this

I have work in six hours. What did I decide to do?
Have one of those nights where I can't sleep.

AGAIN.

I don't even know what does it anymore. I could be slowly drifting into sleep and a car will honk outside.
THATS IT. FUCKED FOR THE NIGHT.

Man this is driving me up the wall. But I just... don't want to sleep.
I mean I WANT TO. But something in me is saying I shouldn't. The call I got earlier today has been running through my head all night.
Been trying to draw, or write to get it off my mind, but it doesn't work. Just bored, sitting here slowly driving myself into a small box of insanity. I'm sitting here talking to myself just to have something to do, to have some kind of human contact...

I need someone else besides myself to talk to, but I can't... talk to anyone. I don't know anyone here, and really at this point I'm sure I'd just scare people away. At least that just seems like whats going on recently.

More coffee is needed.

PUT IT ON REPEAT

Remember the officer that I was talking to back home?
You know the one the one that did up my report when I went missing? Officer Robert?
I just woke up to my cell phone hoping it was work calling me back about my hours, but was delightfully surprised to hear him on the other end.

"Remember those kids that went missing? We found some of them, just out of thin air."

I mean it's not like alot of people around my town went missing, two students from the trade collage and a couple that worked a bit out of town at the museum. The two from the school have come back but the couple are still missing. Apparently the students where found not too far from the waterfalls in town, by the trail. But like me they don't remember anything so the cops are at an end again.

He but me through the regular do you remember anything, has anyone contacted you since this happened blah blah. I told him I can't even remember the last two months too well with all the sleep I had. We spoke for a bit more, he also told me mom and Luc are doing okay...

thatsgood

So if I remember anything I have to call him. Still.

I also got to sleep sometime this morning. I can't remember what time, it was after 6:30 in the morning.
A two hour nap isn't so bad, had a fucked up dream about my ex though. And a hasbrown...
Hungry.

Alright later.

MY CHICKEN

Isnt he pretty?

Quick Update

And it really is (Surprising right?)

Just thought I'd announce that I opened another blog, just a place for me to put down short stories I've been poking at for the past week to keep me sane while I was awake. And some stories that I've heard over the years from family, friends and strangers.

Story Scraps

On other updates, still haven't slept yet, drank coffee all day...
Pretty sure I may not sleep again tonight... I'll try to nap but I'm doubtful. Still, for once in the past two weeks it's got this quiet, calm not paranoid and overly edgy feeling.

I like that. Been a long while...
Of course last time I felt something was when I really had to pee in the middle of the night before I went into a God damn coma. I must have been heavy on the sleeping pills is my guess, and was just in a dopey daze of sleepy.

Makes sense for why I wouldn't remember.

WORKWORKTIREDEYES

I feel ready to drop. First day of work was odd, but that could've just been me being overly tired, which I'm sure it was. Everyone was staring at me oddly so I thought maybe I was dressed weird, make up looked bad, hair a mess? No, everything looked normal. Everyone said I looked normal. Two guys that came in for lunch where nice enough, chatting me up on my first day (one was pretty cute) but still seemed... odd. The conversation was... odd.

Not that the topic was odd, we talked about the terrible rain that came out of nowhere, what desserts they wanted and the usual customer/waitress banter.

But the tone of it all just seemed.. odd.
GOD I HATE THIS.

Can't sleep a wink and I get paranoid, I see stuff, I think things are all going loopy and the world is twisting around me.

Or I sleep for a week at a time and have a total blackout moment for the whole thing and can't even remember going to the bathroom or drinking a glass of water. So what do I do? It's not like I can get on a regular sleeping schedule I've been trying, but nothing works. I can't even take a sleeping pill to do it anymore. I take it and lay in bed for 2 hours sit up and then start tripping BALLS for a few hours.

Then the sun is up and I STILL can't sleep. I just sit in my room all night doodling and talking to myself. Even now I can't even take a nap. MUH FUCKING MUH.

So I have an idea.

Anyone know a few good movies to watch? Something on the suspense/triller style with an actual good story or something. Or a comedy. I love a good laugh, anything to get me out of this rut.

Or an idea to draw? I've been pretty dry of a good drawing idea for a long while now. I mean I may not be able to put up the drawing until I get my hands on a scanner, or some kind of camera/webcam (maybe my camera will magicly appear) but if you have a few good idea's let me know.

If you have any good ideas for keeping my entertained and awake or to put me to sleep let me know.

Promise I won't delete the comments this time.

I'm not even going to TOUCH that delete/remove content button because both of them seem to delete everything on me fluffing dammit.