Friday, February 4, 2011

Easy feeling

It's strange to feel this way.
Have you ever had one of those nights where you just say

"Fuck you everyone, it's 8:32 pm, I don't have work until late and I have nothing to do right now I'm going to bed."

And you have one of the best sleeps of your LIFE.
Yeah, it was nice.
Last night was that night for me, which was nice. I mean, it was either I didn't sleep at all for days on end, spent in paranoia and restlessness. Or I was sleeping all the time, and having black outs and could barely move a muscle.

It's nice. Very nice. The past few nights have been absolutely peaceful and calm. I even have some fun while I'm at work (God forbid, I didn't even know I could..)

An old friend even moved back into town yesterday. She was one of my best friends when I was kid and still here. And now I can finally spend some time with someone my age who I can get along with and enjoy a night outside of my apartment for once.

WHICH IS WICKED UUUHHHHH!!!!

Sorry, it's been awhile since I've been so at peace for once.

But, it's been getting me thinking.
That's how it always feels, the calm before the storm...
I can't help but feel like soon I'll be thrown into some kind of tornado of absolute hell and I won't even know what to do with it all.
And after ready everything that's been going on and how similar it all is...
God what do I even do..

Well, all I can do is hope it stays this way right?

~++HART

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Cold morning

I haven't slept much.
At all.
The only day I slept was yesterday, and that was for a whole 3 hours.

Go me.

I've been hoping and begging to whatever entity is out there to cause a snow storm and not have me work the double shift I have today because I just don't have the energy or the want to do it.
At all.

And I don't even know why I can't sleep. I mean, I'm tired.
But everytime I close my eyes my body just smacks me in the face and goes
"No, no FUCK YOU, stay awake and burn all my energy damn you."

Oh GOD whats wrong with me.
I'm almost hoping I collapse at work and that's that.
Don't have to work.
Or there is an explosion, or some kind of...

somesortof

a
like

maybe a cat mob or something

ahhhhhh
SLEEEEEEEP