Thursday, January 27, 2011

Just some time

So I've done some digging.
A lot of digging. People have been disappearing all over the island.
 Not tons of people, and not a lot, but people are still disappearing.  And it seems like most of the cases have been a lot like what happened to me. Just up and gone from their home or work, all of their stuff is still left behind, cars, wallets, keys, nothing is gone.
Most of the people who have disappeared are around my age too.
So far there's been 5 missing people reports, and when I was asking Officer Robert (The officer I was talking to last time, I finally remembered his name) why he didn't tell me about it he said he was hoping I wouldn't have been the same kind of case because I was found the day after with nothing wrong.

But he did tell me he got a weird feeling about the whole thing, and he didn't want me digging any further into it. If anyone was going to solve this it would be the police.
I don't think I can just let this go.

It's all just too weird. The strange occurrences is just something I can't ignore.
The moment I moved back here, the disappearances began, and from the articles I read about the disappearances they have found those strange pieces of paper similar to what I found in my room.
If I can find some way to look at those  papers and compare them to mine I might be able to figure something out maybe..

I really don't know how I'd look at them. My guess is they're evidence now...
Ah, maybe I should just let the cops deal with it.
As strange as this may be for me there's nothing I could do that they already haven't I guess.
I need to lay down. I have a terrible headache, and mother seems to think I have a cold. Tea time.

Damn I want this to just make sense, it's bugging me too much.
I'm dreaming about it, I've bee seeing things.
I know it's just my head paying tricks on me.
But it's sort of hard to work when your running on 4 hours sleep.
Not fun.



Monday, January 24, 2011


My phone is not working at ALL.
All you can hear is this obnoxiously loud, ear-drum melting static and tones.
And I don't know why. The phone jack has been working perfectly fine before.
Can't be the current random snow storm that came out of NOWHERE mostly because it was working when the storm was at it's worst.

The my TV is getting staticy and has been crapping out all day.
Again, don't know why. I've been watching DVD's and none of them had been damaged before...
AND, I sign in to check if I had any new comments, just to find that the most recent one made was deleted.
And so was my reply to him.

If that was you, your an ass.

If it wasn't... your still an ass, just now I'm a tad more spooked.
Today just feels like it's going to be a weird day...
And I don't want to be alone, I hope work doesn't close because of the storm.

I need out of here.

By the way I apologize if a comment you made was deleted, I don't know whats going on with that.


Sunday, January 23, 2011

Foul Taste

Okay, so..
Fun week indeed. I had to force my way back into work so I could start getting hours again. Everyone and their dog made sure to pop by and talk to me.
It's not so bad, I guess everyone is just worried about me.
Still annoying to a point though.

One of the cops that was dealing with my case dropped by to tell me they still couldn't find anything at all. Still seems like I somehow walked there myself in my sleep.
And no one managed to see me walk there either.
Considering I have to walk down the main highway to get there.

But he said he thinks it might be something else.
When I asked him why he didn't say anything, just stayed silent and then shook his head and told me to forget about it. He was just thinking crazy.


I wanted to start digging more into it, but I didn't want to bother him, at the same time I don't know where I would start.
Because I don't even know what the man was talking about.


There's something going on.
I want to know what it is. I'm tired of being left in the dark.

Thursday, January 20, 2011



It's been a few day's I guess.
Sorry I didn't reply right away, I sort of reverted back to my bubble.
That and I had to deal with mountains of people and police and nurses.
Because we had to find out what's wrong and what happened.

There is no trace that anyone other than me was in my apartment that night. There is no damage to my body (I also did a rape kit, a drug test, blood test..) and nothing that could explain my blackouts.
Also the video 
It looks like it was taken on my webcam, and it IS me.. it looks like me. But I don't remember making it, I don't have the movie file anywhere on my computer as far as I know (I've been checking but NOTHING)
So, basically what the evidence is saying is, I blacked out, made a fucked up video, then said fuck my warm home I'm going to a creepy cold dock outside the cemetery! 
But what everyone else in town thinks is I'm a victim in some kind of perverted attack.
Oh, and of course because I live in a small town, and everyone within the peninsula area knows my family, every town within 50 miles knows about it.
I haven't left the apartment much because of this. I tried going out for a drink and that proved...
A stupid idea.

My green lighter is missing, and my purple one is full of fluid, but won't work.
And I was going through my binder looking at a bunch of my old work and seeing what I wanted to throw out, when I came across this.

Front side says

"TAP TAP TAP CAN YOU HEAR THAT?" "HE SEES U WHEN UR SLEEPING HE KNOWS WHEN UR AWAKE" "SO ALONE" "GO SEE" "KNOW" "HA HA HA HA" "XXXXX" "DON'T" "NHEER"(But it could be a W...)and a lot of words are crossed out...

And the back says

Then there's all these drawings.
I have no clue if I made it or not...
It's all just over my head right now I don't even know what to think.
AT least who ever wrote it was thinking about my sanity.
Yes crazy paper, I will have a smoke.


Monday, January 17, 2011


I just got home. I woke up this morning by some abandoned dock just outside of town and I have no clue how or why I was there.

All I remember is going to the bathroom after hanging up the phone on pickles and that was it.
Blank. Nothing.

I don't remember eating, or walking, or falling asleep on a cold, wet broken dock so I could wake up when the sun cracked the horizon and letting me get engulfed in creepy fog and stubble around until I found the cemetery. Then I kinda realized I was only 10 minutes from my apartment. And just across the street from work. SO I went to work and was nearly killed by my mother.
I asked not to talk about it because I don't even know whats going on. I just want to have a smoke and watch some Farscape right now.
I'm doing this just in case anyone thinks I'm like dead or something, I'll make a proper post once I feel up to it I guess?

Saturday, January 15, 2011



Missing the fun.

How does someone do these things? I never got the idea of blogging. Or writing a journal for yourself either. I'm not really expressive, or interesting. I remember everything I've ever done so why do I need to write a blog?

Specifically why am I on my friends blog, writing an entry on hers?

Because, I was given a password for a few accounts to a few things she want's me to help her out with, and she thinks me talking to something other than my cat is a good thing. She doesn't seem to remember all those late 2am talks with her. She got pretty philosophical. Emma not Hart. 
That's my cat by the way, Emma.

So, I guess you should all know me (Assuming anyone reads this besides Hart which she will possibly laugh at me very hard later for.)

I'm Pickles. Don't ask, long long story that I hae never had the urge to tell anyone.
I don't like pictures taken of myself.
I take lots of pictures of Emma though.
I don't sleep.
Me and Hart have known each other since Junior High.
I'm a pizza Delivery guy. (And I love it)
Why? Because I basically make anywhere from 200$-350$ on a slow night in tips. These are the perks of living in a big city. And I work a lot of overtime, and all I do is drive so it's not hard.
Just boring and quiet. The way I like it.

Now that is out of the way, I do have ulterior motives for writing this blog. I have work soon, and signed on to see Hart didn't reply to me on this either, or anything else.
Last night we got into a pretty big fight on the phone, and she hung up. I called back but she apparently went back to her apartment, so I asked her mom if she was acting weird at work since they work together, and her mom said she was normal, just tired and she ran off to the bathroom for a good 15 minutes before she came back.
I tried calling her house many, MANY times, and left messages. I left one here and on her twitter, and sent her a few e-mails but nothing.

So maybe a big ol' blog post showing her she's being childish will finally get her to answer her phone, or God help me I am calling Ivy and getting her to send your mom up to you! And I know how much you hate those two waking you up in the morning.

Now, pick up the phone, please?

Friday, January 14, 2011

This is what you do in your spare time?

Blogs? Your doing blogs now? HAHA. Nice girl nice at least you do SOMETHING while your lazing around on an island.
What the hell are you complaining about. BTW! How nice of you to message me a fucked up message and then scoot offline before I can ask you about it, then not three seconds later call me on the phone, ask me if I did it yet and I'm the one sitting there like an idiot.

Hey, say hi to mom for me, and since your working tonight try and get Rob to give you that big bag of liquor chocolates to send up to me. I didn't get enough for Christmas you scrooge.

OH! Another thing you little monster. I finally GOT it.
Thanks for the password, Now I'm going to have SO much more fun bugging you on the days off. 
And um, cute.

Real cute. Still mad at me? OH GOSH!
Well I made some adjustments and I think once I did it looks like quite the master piece.
Hey, want to get some coffee later?



Work is today. I spent the night at mom's because she wanted someone home with my little brother, she was going to be gone all night.
'Kay... sweet...
Not that I don't love my little brother and all, I just didn't move back home to be babysitting him everynight again so she can go out and party.
I'M Supposed TOO BE, but instead I'm stuck in once again a mundane loop that I can never escape forever.
Mind you, it's not like I wanted to be in constant party mode again too, that was way too much for me to take after awhile.

But I didn't move here to HOUSE SIT EITHER!
He's never HOME, he just leaves once she's gone and comes back at like 11pm, then leaves again before I'm awake. EVERYTIME.
Doesn't matter if it's 2 in the morning or 5 in the afternoon. He has woken up 10 minutes before me and left.
It's creepy.

Oh well, I'm not over here every day, and it seems my sleeping.. oddness is gone with the wind.
Mother said I was lazing around the apartment and here most of the time. Late at night I just disappeared so she just guesses I went to my bedroom in the basement.
Her guess is as good as mine.

So the reason I'm scared..
I was waiting for my coffee, as I need more before I go to work in two hours. And I need to be awake. I was flipping through what I thought was one of my mother's cooking magazines, I wanted something NEW to eat for supper..
And all I saw was THREE...THREE recipes, and every other page was an AD for wine and all kinds of alcohol.
Oh and a pizza AD.
Can't have red wine without pepperoni and green peppers.

I tried to get my on the spot comedic genius running, and all could say was. "Wow, read through that and all you'll get is...


Okay, it'll be okay, I just have to hold onto my dry humor on the INSIDE..
And all will be okay.



Pickles... Come help me :C


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Monday, January 10, 2011

Odd phone numbersandnoises

Okay, so I'm checking my phone to see who called me.
My mother called around 50 times.
Not surprising at all.
Work called twice and a telemarketer.
The number I find odd is this one.
If you can't see it, the number is:
am I the only one who thinks this is odd?

And of course right before I begin to start this blog my computer froze.
She's been doing a lot of that lately too.
Everything has.
My lights, my fridge, my TV.
I keep hearing it's because my apartment is really fucking old.
Well, it is. I lived here back when I was 3.
And then there is all these..
All day I've been hearing them. My guess is the people upstairs.
It's getting anoying.
It sounds like someone is moving around their furniture.
But it's all day.
And it was like this before I had all these bizarre blackouts.
The thumping, tapping, dragging...
It's enough to make a girl go a little..

You know?

Ah, anyway.
Being annoyed aside. While I have been watching re-runs of old sitcoms and drawing endlessly on my days off I realized I need people to talk to.

Oh well. It kind of is. People my age around here aren't really my..type? And most of my other friends..

I don't hear from them much anymore.

If anyone want's to chat in the wee hours of the night you might catch me on skype.


Add me if you want.


wake UP

I feel so weird.
The past few weeks feels like I was just in some kind of drug induced sleep, I wake up and my body is heavy an aches, my head is fuzzy, and I have no clue as to what happened.
I remember snippits of being awake, as I did have to work and eat, but they seem to be just quick memories and then I have these huge black out moments where when I come too I hurt like a rabid animal was trying to eat me, and I have no clue why I should feel like that.

Whats going on with me.
smoke, need a smoke..
So within my blackout daze, I have somehow acquired two lighters (green and purple), three new packs of smokes, (so obviously I was taking care of myself) and four...

Also, my "G" key is missing.
Just gone.

And you have NO IDEA how hard it is to type without it.
I have to press down on the missing area to get anything.
I hate it.

So yes, if anyone see's a "G" from a macbook pro floating around.
Send it back my way?


Monday, January 3, 2011


I return.
And I apologize.
To who I have no clue, I think I have two followers.
Really I just thought I'd be keeping a personal journal to myself at this point.
Anyway, for my two followers, I give you this.

It was weird, I was sitting on my bed, smoking. I thought I felt something touch me lightly but I didn't freak out.
Not that time.
I was starting a new blog about my computer acting up on me and the odd..
And something flicked my ear.
I freaked.
I flailed around and looked around, I posted that because I wanted too. (really i have no clue why, i just did.)

I've been trying to connect to the internet for a while, but the damn thing has been acting like an emotional pre-teen girl.
Everything will be fine one minute, then you do something and the claws come out and your left wondering, why?
But the TV and the lights have been doing that too.
I can't say wind or rain, because it's been pretty calm the past few days..
There's been no tapping, or knocking though.

I'm okay right?

Alright, I need a smoke, some coffee and and idea of something to draw.
I'm not sleeping tonight it seems.


Saturday, January 1, 2011




Birthdays have passed, I am no longer inebriated, and life can go on.
I hope.
Tapping, that fucking TAPPING.
I thought once I moved I wouldn't hear it, or deal with these feelings anymore.
The feeling of something watching you from the windows, behind the trees. The lights have been flickering a lot lately too. Even mother has noticed it, and she's a tad uneasy about it. But I'm sure thats because this house has been falling apart since I was a child, and coming back here and seeing that the only thing that has changed is that it has fallen apart even MORE didn't surprise me.
What surprised me was it's still up.
Enough about my slowly decaying house though.
I'm still getting these paranoid feelings. They had stopped when I was on the plane, and when I finally got here, but not a day later I start feeling like something is peering over my shoulder and that familiar shadow that has followed me since I was a child...

Does anyone believe in ghosts?
Or should I say..phantom shadows?
I do, I have too.
I can there and tell myself all I want, and BELIEVE it all I want but I still see the shadow, that long, dangling shadow peering at me from the corners. It never stopped, it will never stop it seems.
But I wish it did.

I'm tired of going insane with paranoia over stupid shadows and childhood terrors. It's getting to be annoying, unwelcome and I just want to make it stop.

I wonder how I can.
Like a ceremony? A ritual?
A book with ancient tellings of long ago, when they would banish evil shadows to the underworld where they had pulled themselves from.
That could be entertaining.

I just hope I can get some sleep tonight, my throat is raw, and my eyes are burning again.

My music is going on blast so I can't hear the tapping, if I can't hear it, and I die in my sleep at least I won't see it when it happens.