Sunday, August 7, 2011

That moment

You ever have that feeling. That you'd been sleeping for so long that you wake up and realize half your day was gone?
What about a whole day, or a week?

Or a month?

Or a few?

And you wake up and BAM. Everything was just... odd. You didn't know what to do, you could talk right see right, and you probably couldn't move much. Like waking up from a deep sleep.

I had a sleeping problem. But I never new it was this bad.

Haven't heard from me in a while huh? Thought I must have just fucked off. Ha well..

I tried to, and really things didn't got he way I wanted anyway. Beside's all the aligations that I was on drugs, stalking deer in the night or some other bull shit I had a falling out with my mother.
She so blind sometimes. So childish, she can't even see it when it's right there.

Almost pokeing her in the face...

I left, like I always did, because it keep sme safe and happy and everyone else safe and happy...

Thats what I thought. Like didn't want to be that nice to me. I packed up and went off with my friend. We wanted to go to the city, I thought yeah. I can always get lost in a city. I can always just walk down a street I didn't know and just go away for awhile, and no one could find me, or bother me.

That's.. most of what I remembered. There's a small haze that I can't yet figure out if it's a dream... or real. I can't find her. She won't pick up her phone. Her emails... not even her facebook which I HATE (anyone else get loading problems on that site??) I'm here in the apartment alone. Rent hasn't been paid, for like a whole month, so all of my money is gone now. I had enough change left to barely buy some smokes to last a few days if I pace myself...
If I'm lucky.

So there's like... a month that's gone by with me knowing absolutely nothing. Not even adding on everything else. Also luckly for 24 hour internet cafe's that I can pay for with street change. Still...

What happened.. how could I have slept for so long with out even remembering waking up and even feeding myself, or going to the bathroom, or fucking SMOKING.

All my smokes are gone. The packs are there but all gone. So unless she smoked them all I must have been awake at some point.

All I remember is black. A still, cold, lifeless black void.Not like.. I didn't dream. I remember a feeling. A bad feeling. That rip your gut out and still feel it kinda feeling...

what happened to me?

No comments:

Post a Comment